Why do people fall sick? According to the chinese, you fall sick because you are not happy inside thats why the qi inside your body cannot circulate properly. According to the western, you fall sick because you think you are or you want to be sick and eventually you become sick. They both share the same similarity. Your mental well being affects your physical well being.
I don't understand what went wrong inside of my sick mommy. It seems like shes got some bitterness in her and its not helping in her recovery. As much as we can we try to make her look at the bright side of life, encourage her to be happy. I think we succeeded today. Its her grand daughter's birthday today. We held it at Sheraton hotel. Made her see that she should be already very blessed that she gets to take care of her grandchildren now. Lil Issac is growing up to be a jovial boy, lil Israel though has a hot temper but still cute since he is still young and soon Momma gets to hold her new grandson Lil Jaekin. All her son and daughters have settled down. I 'm probbably her last worry. I'll try hard to not keep things to myself. Seriously she thinks that I am depressed from NS because of my loss of appetite and even lesser of words from my mouth. How I know? Despite being so sick she still insist of going to Taiwan with me when I get my leave. Love is not selfish. Love is the willingness to sacrifice for the other. I see them now. Though shes not my real mother but she has gone beyond the duty as an aunt to me. I don't want people to worry about me, but I don't know how. Obviously not saying anything adds on to their worries. Feel so useless.
X'mas is nearing again. Cousin asked me what I wanted for X'mas. Seriously I never know how to answer to this question. I never know what I want or I'm too timid to say what I want. Ok honestly I want a car and a house now but according to my age and capacity I can only have as far as an air ticket. But why do I want to have an airticket for? I mean whats the point if I'm going alone. I kept quiet but heres whats running through my chain of thoughts.
Stop asking what I want. I don't know. I appeased them by saying I needed new clothes.
POP...
I can't decide who to call....
Can I not call?
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