What an irony, labour day doesn't seem to benefit me in any way. It was first week in my company. Had so much things I need to adapt to. The load I am carrying and I lived on the fifth floor, its no joke, sometimes my leg shivers after that.. Next, I have to adapt to the people there, its a total different culture there, I hate to look like that but sometimes it does looks like I am trying too hard. The lifestyle was the ultimate adaption I need to do. 1 moment I am relaxing then the next moment I have to run up and down for inspections. I was constantly in an uptight mode because the people there aren't really informative about what I should bring and the fact that my mp3 is still not here yet doesn't help, I can only sleep early and hope friday comes faster. Up and down with my stretcher, medic pouch, field pack and sbo are tearing my body apart.
The only time I can catch my breath is when I stepped out of the camp. Even so, I have to worry because the delay in booking out was so late that I am going to be late for cell group. The moment I reached home, the first thing I looked for is my temp mp3... I should have tried to smuggle that in, I needed it so much. I finally settle down when I sat down for cell group. I thought I could make it for praise and worship, I wanted so badly to bask in God's pressence wanted so much to cry out to God but I missed it cos I was late.
It was also saddening to know that a cg member of mine lost her loved one. Somehow I know how it feels but I didn't know how to express it. Throughout the journey to the place I kept thinking how or what should I do or say when I reach the wake. I didn't want to just make up for the numbers or just go there for a chit chat session. I struggled to find the purpose of me being there but still I did not said much to her cos I thought I'm not that close to say much and so all I could say was take care.
