－ 卡爾絲玻利亞的回憶 －

Ever asked yourself or God, whats his most complicated creation?
Us human? E mountains? Depth of the oceans?
I think its our human mind.

I never had such courage
A bold decision
Dark emotions ...

If you can't understand my silence, you won't understand my words

Good O me decided to stay at home for today. To be a good O boy. Felt quite guilty for going out all the time. So..
1) all thanks to Breaking Dawn that I fell asleep most of the time today.
2) Spent some quality time over lunch with my aunt and cousin

A lot of questions running through my mind. Questions that only I have the answer but yet I do not know the answers. To all who are concerned and praying for my aunt. She is going through operation now, to insert something into her arm so to facilitate the withdrawing of blood from her in future easily. It has to be done because they can't find her veins anymore. Its a small operation but ,still lets pray she will be fine.

Its Aug 17 already. I have 7-8 weeks more to go. I am quite ready to go in. What I really can't let go is once I am in , its hard for me to know how is my aunt and her condition. Doctor says she has 1 or 2 years. Of cos by faith I believe that it would be more than that. Yet, what if it is during this 2 years? Would I be able to take it? I sort of had a glimpse of what it could be like months ago. I couldn't take it. Will I ,2 years later? When I'm just about to go into university. How would my life change?  Will she at least survive till the day I have my own family which is what I really hoped for. At least for her to see me settle down.

There are also questions like what I really want to do after NS? SIM? Overseas? Career path? Should my cousin really send me to Australia, would I be able to be independent?

Silence that kills
Frames that holds the burning past
Darkest night comes the darkest lyrics..

Taste and see that the Lord is good.

Taste= to feel, to experience.

God didn't say taste the sweetness, bitterness...etc

誤會是愛情的後悔。。。

I've been forcing myself to sleep early this few days.. BUT I CAN"T!... I end up tossing about till 2-3plus am ... I would feel super grouchy in the morning... GIVE ME SLEEPING PILLS! Everytime I try to sleep.. images in my mind start popping out... like movies.. playing in my head..causing me to be awake... Tonight was another attempt to sleep early..Again...I can't.... I give uup...HECK...i would just serve the net till i drop dead....ZZzz away...

It was a fat afternoon today. Went vivo for lunch at Bretzel, a German bar cum restaurant. Germans really love sausages. I had 2 chicken breast 2 mashed potatoes in a plate with loads of Veggies... I think it was the veggies and mashed potatoes that made me really full. I had another portion free because one of the breast meat was burnt... Burp Burp ... right outside the restaurant there were a shooting going on. Saw some artist.. :)  After that was Ben and Jerry...!! Fat afternoon really require fat wallet... The only thing I burnt was my wallet haha...

But well I worked extremely hard yesterday for the badminton match... Those fetal divings I made. I must be crazy to go injure myself like that... I am more like badminton stuntman yesterday. I was pretty desperate for a win..or its just my competitive nature..

I am supposed to be excited for this day cos my cousin is holding a bbq at our new home. Hooray to that . At first I thought it would only a few closed relatives.. who knows she invited the whole kampung.. Even the hypocrites.  They smile at you...but at tha back of their head you don't know what they are thinking and I dread answering their unsincere questions of concern. Bleahx. I don't understand why my cousin invites them. Nevertheless I must learn to be as gracious as her.To forgive and forget... Haiz.. I am not perfect but well I am learning to ..

I'll try to enjoy myself as much as possible.
Time to think of some avoiding strategy ...

The surface covers what is underneath...

It also showes glimpses of what is underneath...

差身而過﹐我最後還是決定不叫出你的名字

也許是命運作弄人吧。

那麼巧在這時刻讓我們“遇見”

就多了個眼鏡你也看不出。。。

放手才算擁有

放棄是放手

那是沒有過還是擁有

Yesterday was a Good '0' experience at Pulau Ubin.. My first time there.Cycled around the lil Island. The best part of the trip was prob the Chak Jawa wetland and the Tower.. A great place to be alone and gather your thoughts. For some unknown reason I was super tired once I reached home. Ha maybe well ... age is catching u.Had a super heavy dinner and I slept at 10pm.. wooho.. first time in like so long.. Yet I do not know why i woke up numerous times in the night to drink water.. I was like dehydrated .. Finally morning hits and arghh the stupid dog came into the room barking at me... HOLLA.. I am like trying to make up for the times i did not sleep can!! WWHY! WHY! must u wake me up!!!!  who opened my door anyway....grrrr... but well I told myself to wake up early today to go swimming and so.. haiz.. maybe God sent the dogs to wake me up... My word is my bond... I went to swim eventually. 18 laps.. compared to those fit and fat uncles I am like... weak.. LOL... I would like rest every 4 laps for a half a min before I carry on.. and they would be like continuous... that is like freakish fit can.... I have to admit I suck at swimming...

Hmm.. so that is my eventful morning...