－ 卡爾絲玻利亞的回憶 －

時間的轉變
你我都會變
現在見面還會有一點尷尬

People take pictures because they are afraid that moment won't come again..
Heres some of mine....

Feels a bit close up nowadays.
I can't sort out who is real who isn't. Its so funny that some people you've never even talked to before claims to be your friend or the other way round. Some, just wants to be close to you because you are of some use and many more examples....
Isn't there someone real?

I'm so sick of birthday PARTIES!..

Week after week.........

I am so lazy to do my own things now....

Just like what the title says. 'They' 've been allowing me to go home for the past 4 days because they couldn't find a place for me to slp. They haven't sent me to my platoon yet and so I will be helping out in the medical centre till the brunei trip (7th-18thapr). What an irony, I wanted my birthday to be celebrated overseas but definitely not BRUNEI!!...

......

Well everyday can be a celebration as long as I'm happy......

Many came to salute.

Many came to look ..

God, give me the strength to accept the way things are now....

I struggled to be positive today. Devil just keeps reminding you of the bad news and it is so tempting to be resentful to just want to let go of everything and be at 1 corner. I tell myself I can't do that anymore. I must carry on with life I still have my responsibility as a leader. Took up my guitar and began to praise God and worship him. Faith starts building up in me and thats where I find the breakthrough to bring myself to give BS today. It was a great time of impartation and the more I engage in GOD's work more faith began to raise in me.

It seemed like a battle between my body and mind against the spirit. It went all the way down to fellowship when I finally had a breakthrough. Took the first step to start talking again, to start laughing again, to start fellowshipping again. I reckon to have joy I must first bring joy. I don't know about tmr but I know I won the battle today. Went home feeling light. Mama still awake at 11pm. Bathe and then blog while listening to mama's talking (naggings, complaints and of cos funny comments). She will just keep talking and I will just keep listening then laugh at her comments. I feel my joy tank being filled again.

" Its easy to praise God during good times...
  What about bad times? "

Story of Job. You will never fully understand it until you've experienced it. It started with little thing like my mp3 dropping into the toilet bowl. Followed by 2 consecutive night of nightmares. I shan't describe it but it is ugly. Something at home happened, my cousin's wife had a miscarriage and The final blow for the week, my aunt's cancer has spread to her lungs. Hearing all these at 1 go. I don't even know what to feel. I'm drained. I'm tired. I feel numb. I feel pain.

Rom15:3

Christ did not think only of himself. Rather as scripture says, "The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me".

Its easy to love people who are love-able.

當溫暖的淚 打在手心上
我知道

Today was the second day of my attachment to Stagmont Camp Medical Centre at Choa Chu Kang. This is the only day whereby I can get to enjoy a 8-5pm lifestyle. Spent 3hrs out of the 24hrs God created to travel. Reaching home, i'm like gosh I've to cherish this only night that I have before I go back to camp tmr and start the combat phase of my course. In the end I made a very humane choice. To go for a walk with my aunt. All thanks to lil Israel for crying wanting to get out of the house. A 4 month old baby weighing 8kg, I can't imagine how my aunt can carry him and go for a walk. So I decided to go with her and carry the lil bomb. It was the first time I carry him and My oh my, he is really heavy.....

Come to think of it, the last time I go for a walk with my aunt were those secondary school days where I would go to her house everyweekend. Back then my other 2 nephew and niece were young and I would carry them too. I felt like I was back to those days again. Simple and my heart is so filled after each weekend. I don't really know what happened to me after that. Maybe I got caught up in my own world. Maybe I got tempted away by those materialistic things. That I no longer such quality time with her ever since. The walk today not only reminded me of those days, it made me realized what I've been missing on the past few years. God is good. I finally understood why certain things happen.

Writting all these down made me realize a fact too....

I guess all these crap are just things I've done to people b4.
Now I am reaping....
Indeed God is not mock........

Carlsbluey: "When those warm drops of tears fall, I realized that there is still life in me"

I was begging ....

It wasn't long
before I fall in love with you
Your beauty and your grace amazes me