－ 卡爾絲玻利亞的回憶 －

I've been fooled again...

Fool me once shame on you

Fool me twice shame on me...

Though it is a stranger, but I am so used to seeing this person around in the house for years and it is very uncomfortable to know he is no longer around and the body is in a cold hard and without feelings state.

Not really sad but uncomfortable...

How would it be if it is somone i love?

How do you define a bad day?

My Ans:

It was random, I just wanted to worship God with this song.
The moment I strum the chords, there was an electrifying sensation down my spine, goosebumps came out and my tears welled up

He wants to fly

and he found his way to fly..

When I opened my eyes this morning, the first sentence I heard was "In the future  Don't talk about cars anymore, xxx is asking for the car, u're asking for the car, just let my cousin go on hoilday in peace" . Period. from my aunt. My day, the day I so looked forward to, destroyed..

Just yesterday morning, I asked my cousin's permission to drive the car. It was 6 months since I last asked. Back then the reason I can't was because the car's brakes were spoilt.  After being rejected once, I never had the courage to asked again. It took me damn loads of courage to ask yesterday. I got it. At night we even had a trial run of the route I'll be taking today. Everything went smoothly and I got the green light to drive.

So after I heard all those things my aunt said early in the morning I struggle to hold on to that permission to drive. It seems like no one on this planet Earth can actually believe that I can do something. They are all treating me like a kid hoping to trap me in the cot forever.  None of them know what I have achieved for the past 20 years. I bet they do not know how many trophies I won, how many certificates I have. I bet they think that I got it easy for my licence, I bet they don't believe I can drive a boat. WHAT IS THE POINT OF ME GETTING ALL THESE LICENCE!!!!!!! when I am forever treated like a 2 year old. 

Sometimes I find it hard to put into words the feelings I have.

Sometimes when I use the wrong words I regret saying it because I bring the wrong idea across.

Thats is why i hate talking and I always hope there is someone who can understand me without me saying anything.

My eyes burning, head thumping, could the anger from work or from everywhere else so great I have lost control of myself?  stare at the thugs hoping to start a fight, hoping that I would be beaten up badly or I beat them up badly. Kick the bicycle that just rode past me on a narrow path. All these thoughts going through me , what the hell was wrong with me. I hope it really is the correct tense I am using because I still feel a bit of it.

I'm starting to think what kind of person really am I. I am not sure, wasn't sure all along. A lot of different pieces of me. Which one is or was really me?  A quiet and "hate to talk"  atittude was something I acquired over the years while I am at home. A friendly and chatty part of me I acquired spending my days with my aunt. IF shes really gone... what will happen to me? where will i go? will my future plans change? Confused.....frustrated...

I enjoy not having to find something to talk about. I enjoy not having to PR. I enjoy not having to make a fool out of myself telling jokes I knew all along it wasn't funny or it was funny but after that I worry whether I have hurted someone. I enjoy not having to be with a crowd of people but maybe 1 or 2. Simply put I love to shut up..

干媽媽　生病了。。　我很怕﹐真的很怕

I feel murderous..

Never felt this way where I hope either that person perish or I perish..

Rage  building up so much that I am shivering

一個人成不成熟不是看年齡﹐穿著　和　有沒有錢　
而是你的思想﹐言行舉止﹐處理問題的方式
１７歲穿的像３０多歲就算是成熟嗎﹖如果你是那個人oh please　不要浪費你的青春。　這樣不會讓你更成熟。　

我發覺其實我更本還沒真正的了解你。　因為你讓我不明白你到底想干什么。　沒法子﹐但我決定了。我不想在去理會這些事了也不再想太多了。這些事是沒完沒了的。我走我的路﹐你過你的橋。你開心就好﹐你毀掉的﹐你自己去解決吧。

薛凱琪&方大同

碰巧的遇到這ＭＶ　。。

你不知不覺的
讓我很開心的笑了起來

就讓我在這陌生地放心的把心里想說的寫下來吧。
最近我是有感覺到你好像在閃我。　但那也是我的猜測而以沒想到是真的。
原諒﹐我當讓會。因為你更本也沒欠我什么反而是我造成你的不便。我是有點不舒服。如果是很要好的朋

Can you just hold me.. and hold me tight?

Don't let me go....

 When you are at your lowest point of your life.
You just wish that there is this special someone to come and hug you and say 'I love You'

Argh I am sick today.... but well who cares?
I am thinking why is it when something really big happens only will people start to show concern?
Ha.. well.. only when I faint then will people probabbly care...

我知道不管我做錯了什么事﹐
你偉大的愛把一切洗掉了一切的錯
我在也不要離開你了

其實我在想﹐　在這里我真的能找到朋友嗎﹖
這個年代還會有“筆友”　這種東西嗎﹖　
真的好想試試看。